A question mark wraped in an enigma

Ughh

Fri, 11 May 2007 19:28:28 GMT

Surgery Tuesday.
Keep your fingers crossed all goes well.

Happy New Year

Sat, 06 Jan 2007 23:45:38 GMT

I'm so bad at updating this journal.
I blame it on myspace as I do all of my blogging there these days.
So, if you're not a friend over there please feel free to add me at myspace.com/snc81

The holidays were good. This was the first year Anna had any real inkling as to what was going on so that was a complete riot.
On Christmas eve she went to bed @ 7pm as always but her excitment woke her up three times throughout the night (weird, as she never wakes through the night) and each time she woke she let out a very serious exclamation of "I hear Santa!!"
Luckily though we always managed to get to her before she came out and caught us in the act (of putting presents under the tree that is!!)

So here's some photos from Christmas festivities.
I think these are just further proof that I make insanely beautiful babies!!

Opening presents. I love the expression on her face here.

Al dolled up..

Impressed with the new "laptop" she got.

Trying out her easel.

I hope you all had an awesome Christmas and New Years.
And come and find me on myspace! :)

Holy shit

Sun, 12 Nov 2006 00:28:47 GMT

So the day before yesterday I was having a bad day.
I mean a REALLY bad day.
The kind of day that puts all other bad days to shame.

When the mail comes.

And with it comes a package

Not any package.
No,no.
A package from......

-wait for it-

CHUCK PALAHNIUK!!!
(author of such fabulous books as "Fight Club", "Invisible Monsters", "Choke"..to name a few.)

OMG.

Here's some photos of the high lights of the package (sorta crappy photos, sorry)
BUT

First, the letter:
Page One:

Page 2:

Then two CD's full of "Tour stories" which he says will never be sold...

Then the highlight...

The necklace is beautiful and this photo does not do it justice! In his letter he says ""As a birthday present, i've made you the enclosed necklace. These are stones I found while touring. The center is an oval of fossilized coral, between small orange agates and ovals of yellow jade."

Just when I though I couldn't love him anymore he ups the ante.
*swoons*

Yoinked from Melanie

Sat, 14 Oct 2006 20:31:14 GMT

1. What is your occupation? stay at home mom/writer
2. What color are your socks right now? No socks.
3. What are you listening to right now? the sound of silence
4. What was the last thing that you ate? Subway seafood sub
5. Can you drive a stick shift? Indeed
6. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Red
7. Last person you spoke to on the phone? Mom & Kelly
8. Do you like the person who sent this to you? it wasn't sent - i copied it from Mel and I think she's great!
9. How old are you today? 25
10. Favourite drink? iced tea, water, wine
11. What is your favourite sport to watch? blah. Swimming?
12. Have you ever dyed your hair? Many times.
13. Pets? No pets sadly. I'd love to have a dog but Anna's allergic :(
14. Favourite food? Chinese, anything Italian, pizza
15. What was the last movie you watched? The Illusionist (Ahh...Ed Norton *swoons*)
16. Favourite day of the year? Christmas Eve
17. What do you do to vent anger? Workout
18. What was your favourite toy as a child? My stuffed dog "Howard" He's now Anna's favorite.
19. What is your favourite fall or spring? fall
20. Hugs or kisses? a heaping helping of both please!
21. Cherries or Blueberries? Blueberries
22. Do you want your friends to email you back? it's not an email silly...
23. Who is most likely to respond? no one me thinks
24. Who is least likely to respond? deja vu....
25. Living arrangements? I live in a house with my husband and my daughter.
26. When was the last time you cried? Yesterday
27. What is on the floor of your closet? Shoes, shoes and ...bags.
28. Who is the friend you have had the longest that you are sending this to? I've known Melanie the longest by far of anyone on this friends list.
29. What did you do last night? Did some writing and then later watched mindless crap on TV
30. Favourite smells? Fresh baked goods, vanilla, cinnamon and most anything by Clinique.
31. What inspires you? Anna, quiet nights, beauty and pain.
32. What are you afraid of? Dyinh before Anna can care for herself.
33. Plain, cheese or spicy hamburgers? cheese
34. Favourite dog breed? Love em all.
35. Number of keys on your key ring? 6
36. How many years at your current job? 2 as being a mom
37. Favourite day of the week? Friday
38. How many provinces have you lived in? 4 - Newfoundland (for the longest), NWT, Alberta and now i'm in Ontario
39. Favourite holidays? Christmas
40. Ever driven a Motorcycle or heavy machinery? Nope.

Wed, 11 Oct 2006 02:30:56 GMT

This video makes me happy.
http://www.filecabi.net/video/p.php?file=hugs

Today...

Mon, 09 Oct 2006 20:54:45 GMT

Today's mine & Eddie's 3rd Wedding anniversary. Holy Christ...amazing! The time has just been flying by and I can't believe it's been 3 years already!

Happy Anniversary Darlin'
(cause I know eventually you'll get around to checking your friends page on here lol)

OH! & Happy Thanksgiving (Canada)

On that note..i'm off to check on my effin Turkey. It's starting to smell reaaaaly good!

Holy crap!

Wed, 27 Sep 2006 16:02:15 GMT

Today's my birthday!

Pics!!

Tue, 26 Sep 2006 20:25:54 GMT

Well it's been awhile since i've had a picture post (mainly because LJ was being a difficult harlot and wouldn't let me post any) so here it comes..

Starting off....
Here's Anna's bedroom as of yesterday minus her crib with her bed all set up. She did awesome last night!

Here she is this morning trying on her Halloween costume. Don't know if anyone's familuar with TVs "The Doodlebops" haha but her she is dressed as the female character "Dee Dee Doodle"

Here she is playing her piano that my aunt Judy sent her for her birthday...It was by far her favorite gift this year.

Doing some star gazing..my GOD she's so beautiful.

*************************************************************
Also there's some pictures from Phil & Megean's wedding that we attended a few weeks ago.

Bride & groom

The guys dancing to...what else, Van Halens JUMP..

Justin & Claire

Jim & Emily.

And finally my husband working on his buzz...though I was the one who ended up oh so drunk & it had been awhile. Gotta love open bars.

The time came...

Tue, 26 Sep 2006 15:53:27 GMT

So I had been putting it off and putting it off...mainly because i'm sentimental and couldn't bear the thought of it being time BUT...

Today I finally took apart Anna's crib and as I write this she's sleeping soundly in her "big girl bed" for the first night.

She was amazing. After just a few moments of my sitting beside her, singing to her she dozed off.

How can it be time for this already?! *weeps* I can't believe how fast the time has gone leading up to that moment.
I'm so proud of her.

Dentist

Fri, 01 Sep 2006 17:17:19 GMT

Well i've been home from the dentist for a couple of hours now.
I got a chipped molar fixed and while it wasn't too bad at all it was the first bit of dental work i've had done in my life. I've done the whole checkup thing & cleaning thing but that was it. So all in all it was a pretty good experience.
Though at one point it seems I had my arms rested on what I thought was the arm rest of the chair...turns out it was the dentists leg.
My mouth is still frozen 2 1/2 hours later....which helps me relax a bit as my biggest fear when he was doing my teeth was that the freezing would wear off. Guess not.

Hm

Thu, 31 Aug 2006 14:48:35 GMT

Letters from Scott
by Johnny Dodd, People Magazine

She keeps them in a tattered manila envelope that she stashes in a drawer in her bedroom eight letters and an Easter card, each on plain lined paper and written in neat, tight cursive, from the man she sent to death row. Since last August, Richelle Nice, one of 12 jurors in the capital murder trial of Scott Peterson, has become a pen pal to the man she convicted. She writes and tells him about her kids and inquires why he killed his wife, Laci, 27, and their unborn son. He sends her letters back, insisting that he didn't murder his family, asking if she has any tips on how to pass the time in his cell at San Quentin.

"If someone had told me during the trial that I'd be writing Scott Peterson, I would have said, 'Are you out of your mind?'" laughs the 36-year-old Nice, as she thumbs through her piles of letters in the laundry room of the four-bedroom house she shares with her mother and four sons, who range in age from 4 to 18. But life is weird, and that trial consumed me, even when it was over.

In his letters obtained exclusively by People Peterson says that he believes the police investigation into Laci's murder was not thorough; that he appreciates visits from family and friends; and that he spends much time reading. He asks about her experiences as a juror what it was like, why she came to the decision she did. As Nice tells it, the correspondence started as a way to help heal herself. When the trial ended in December 2004, she began to fall apart emotionally. Things had always been rough for her, but she felt that something about the ordeal of spending seven months on the jury had turned her world upside down. So one day the therapist shed been seeing suggested that, as an exercise, she write Peterson a letter, telling him how his murder trial had begun to push her over the edge. The idea was that she would stick the letter in a mailbox without an address. But at the last minute, Nice decided to go all the way and put Peterson's name and address on the envelope. I basically wrote and said, "Hi, how are you? I sat on your jury and I have some questions I want to ask you," she says. "After I wrote that letter, I didnt think hed write me back."

Then one afternoon last September, her mother hollered out to her from the front room of their house in East Palo Alto. A white envelope was lying face down on a table. Picking up the letter, she saw the bright red letters stamped San Quentin State Prison. Then, when she read the name printed in the upper left corner, she felt nauseated. "I started shaking and crying and hyperventilating, she recalls. I didnt know what to do. I wondered, 'Do I call the police? Do I even want to open it?'"

She did, and was amazed at the tone of Peterson's letter. There was such a feeling of disconnect, she says. "It was that same disconnect all of us saw in the trial just this total sense of detachment. The only way I can explain it is that his letters sound exactly like he acted in the courtroom."

It is also true that in the letters, which generally run two to three pages, there are echoes of the seductive charm that Peterson used on Amber Frey. Unfailingly polite, he showers flattery on Nice at every opportunity. At one point, he compliments her on her choice of a breast cancer awareness stamp. He voices concern about her losing her health insurance and how her classes in cosmetology are going. He mentions that other inmates take up hobbies, but so far he hasn't figured out one that appeals to him. "Do you have any insights into this kind of thing?" he asks. When she suggests he try crossword puzzles, he says, no he can only do them at a third grade level.

Most of all, though, he wants to convince Nice that he did not kill Laci and Conner. Again and again, he insists that police did not chase down all the leads that would have cleared him. And yet he voices no bitterness, either toward Nice or any of the other jurors. "I am just not an angry person," he writes on November 3. "I am empathetic to what you went through." More than once, he talks about how hard the trial must have been for Nice. He talked a lot about the autopsy photos and how hard that must have been for the juror to see those, she says.

As for his life behind bars, Peterson tries to be matter-of-fact, saying that he doesn't go out in the exercise yard much because there is nothing to do. And indeed there is a palpable loneliness in his letters. He contends that he gets far less mail than has been reported and that he doesnt talk much to anyone else in the prison. At times, he appears to play for sympathy, maintaining that the loss of his family was such a crushing blow that his current discomfort hardly registers. "What do you have to live for?" he writes. "It is hell anywhere you are." And there is even a sliver of dread, as when he tells her he finds it "disturbing" when another inmates is executed.

Asked why she decided to release these seemingly private letters to People, Nice says she was scared they'd be leaked out somehow. "I would rather tell my story than have someone else do it," she says. It is doubtful that the letters will have much, if any, impact on Peterson's appeal, which is expected to drag on for years. "I don't see how there could be new evidence coming out if a juror were writing letters," says Birgit Fladager, one of the prosecutors during the trial, who was asked hypothetically about any possible fallout. "If that happens, its generally because the juror wants to share his or her thoughts or is trying to get an explanation for something or wants to somehow stay connected, wants to save that person." (Lawrence Gibbs, one of the lawyers handling Petersons appeal, said he had no knowledge of his client corresponding with a juror.)

In total, Nice fired off 17 letters most of them about four pages in length. She laughs at the notion that she is writing Peterson because she has fallen in love with him. "I don't really talk about the letters to too many people," she says, "But from the people who do know, I get a mixed reaction. After that first letter, some said, 'Do not continue. Do not write him again.' It's definitely not something I walk around and brag about. I know a lot of people are not going to understand."

She insists that, more than anything else, shes writing in the hopes that hell eventually confess to the murder of his wife. She knows it sounds crazy, but she feels that the only way this tragedy will ever be put to rest is if the man who set everything into motion would admit his role in the crime that left both Laci and her unborn son, Conner, dead. "If he comes clean, I don't think things will change, but it will put a lot of people's minds at ease and at rest," she says. "This has to eat at him. It has to. I don't know if it will make things better, but it will put his mind at ease. His parents seem like they're doing everything they can to make things more difficult for Laci's parents. In one of my letters I wrote, 'You know, your parents should really let Sharon have her daughters belongings.' [The families once battled over the contents of Scott and Laci's house.] But he wont respond to that."

Nice admits that her letters to Peterson are also partly an attempt to find answers to questions about herself. She has never been married. Her four sons were fathered by two different men with whom she had long term relationships. Over the years she has worked jobs ranging from a nursing assistant to a bank clerk. Last August Nice enrolled in cosmetology school at the College of San Mateo, hoping to eventually start a career as a hair and makeup artist. But in December, after years of mental health issues, she suffered a major breakdown and was admitted into San Mateo Medical Center's psychiatric ward. She's currently on a battery of medications for her psychiatric problems. "All my life has been a struggle," she says.

Through her travails, she couldn't help but begin to compare her tumult to Peterson's life of privilege. "I remember thinking, 'Dude, you had all the resources in the world, and you can't hold it together any better than that, when the chips are down?'" she says. "When life begins to get a little uncomfortable for you, what do you do? You commit murder? What a sorry cop-out."

Choke

Wed, 16 Aug 2006 19:10:42 GMT

Recently i've finished up reading both "Choke" and "Haunted" by Chuck Palahniuk. I adore this man. He's beyond twisted and it's just amazing to imagine how his mind works.
Anyway, i'm going to post some of my favorite quotes from "Choke" mostly for personal reference at a later date. However, if this doesn't make you want to read it nothing will.

Here we go......

"She used to say, "The only frontier you have left is the world of intangibles. Everything else is sewn up too tight."
Caged inside too many laws.
By intangibles, she meant the Internet, movies, music, stories, art, rumors, computer programs, anything that isn't real. Virtual realities. Make-believe stuff. The culture.
The unreal is more powerful than the real.
Because nothing is as perfect as you can imagine it."

"Painting a picture, composing an opera, that's just something you do until you find the next willing piece of ass. The minute something better than sex comes along, you call me. Have me paged."

"You gain power by pretending to be weak. By contrast, you make people feel so strong.
You save people by letting them save you.
All you have to do is stay fragile and grateful. So stay the underdog.
People really need somebody they feel superior to."

"no matter how much you think you love somebody, you'll step back when the pool of their blood edges too close"

"How can it be prostitution if all the women were dead?"

Wed, 09 Aug 2006 14:23:37 GMT

Wow, what a trip we had. I'm going to need the next week just to catch up on sleep. Let's take a look at some pics!

Here we go...
First, here's my uncle Rob doing what my family does best...playing music. This, of course, is his best rock & roll face.

Here's Anna helping my aunt Carolyn to play her guitar.

Carolyn again

Here's my uncle Rob getting ready to screech in any non-newfies in attendance

My uncles Rob & Greg playing away.

Greg and Rob again trying to make getting family photos as difficult as possible :D

I'm going to need a week just to catch up on my sleep.

It was so hard saying goodbye, I love them all sooo much. We need to be closer.

Congrats!

Sun, 16 Jul 2006 19:42:43 GMT

Sending out many congrats to my cousin Rodney and his beautiful wife Janis, who after three years of trying to conceive followed by three very painful miscarriages have FINALLY welcomed into the world a beautiful baby boy.
Devin Crocker was born July 13th.

Here's baby Devin with his VERY proud daddy...

Sending ALL my love and to all three of you! xo

Oh yes..

Sun, 16 Jul 2006 01:50:29 GMT

Here's some pictures of the first week of my Mom & Kelly's trip to visit us...

Anna's SO rock & roll...

My sister Kelly & Anna sitting outside the house one balmy evening....

Mom & Kelly hanging out with us at the beach....

& a couple of Kelly just being puurdy....

&..

Ahh the beach.

Thu, 22 Jun 2006 05:38:41 GMT

So with this hot weather we've been spening a lot of time at the beach. Anna just LOVES it. When she wants to go she refers to it as the "big tubby" Ah what a darling.

And haning out in her room....

Ohh yes

Tue, 20 Jun 2006 02:40:19 GMT

So yesterday I signed on to co-write and edit ten film scripts each fifteen minutes in length for Polar Balance Self Care, a company who is releasing a series of home care dvds.

Woo.

The pay is pretty awesome too.

hahahahaha

Tue, 13 Jun 2006 00:38:51 GMT

Funny

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ougokpnn-Ug

Funny face, I love you...

Sat, 03 Jun 2006 03:43:01 GMT

Haha, Well i'm not quite sure what THIS look is all about....

But it's pretty friggin funny.
See, Anna thinks so too....

Hide the peigeons

Wed, 24 May 2006 06:32:18 GMT

So the better part of this afternoon was spent down by the river enjoying the awesomely beautiful day.

Anna loves it there. She especially loves the pigeons that don't fly away and instead let her chase after them.

Pigeons like this one:

Yes, that IS fear you see in its eyes.

After she tired of that she picked me a flower (ok, a weed, but still....)

Then Anna and Daddy blew some bubbles.

It was a beautiful day...

ah

Sat, 20 May 2006 02:00:36 GMT

Both Will & Grace AND that 70's how had their series finales last night.

This
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uhAUPgJWpSE
from W&G's finale had me weeping...hah

little sisters growing up...

Wed, 26 Apr 2006 04:23:00 GMT

aw my little sister who lives clear across the country is growing up way to fast to be so far away from me.
I miss her......and Anna does too. Anna talks about her for a good part of the day. It's too funny.
What a beautiful girl.
I miss you Kelly!!

Tue, 25 Apr 2006 02:28:10 GMT

Last week was nuts.
Had Anna up to the Dr's last Tuesday. Turns out she had an ear infection so the doc put her on some meds.
Fast forward to the next morning, we're driving in the car and I can hear Anna making noise from her car seat in the back. I turn around and the poor child is voilently throwing up. It was horrible. I began to panic because it was just so horrible and the child looked terrified. So we finally get home and I strip her down and stick her in the tub but it's far from over and while sitting in the tub she starts to get sick again. So I grab her, get her as dressed as I can, wrap her in a blanket and make a bee line to the hospital.

Turns out she was having a vicious reaction to the meds she was put on. What a day. Luckily it left her once we the meds were out of her system just as quickly as it hit.

So..here's a few recent pics. one of her using my yoga matt as her "purse" and another of her beautful (though messy) face :)

What a day....

Tue, 18 Apr 2006 20:05:29 GMT

I've gotta say...
This is turning into THE most wonderful day i've had in a while.

Searching for you..

Thu, 13 Apr 2006 01:34:07 GMT

Have you every had someone from the past pop into your mind and you just can't seem to shake it? For the past few weeks i've been thinking a boy I used to know though I haven't seen him in about 10 years. Now last night I had a very vivid dream about him and today i've juist been shaken to the core with a need to try to get in touch with him. I haven't felt anything like this before it's kinda weird.

Only problem is I haven't been able to find him yet. Now in my mind i'd imagine that there'd be SOME way to track a 25 year old man online in this day and age. I've googled him, searched on here, hi5, msn & yahoo, classmates, etc....
My question.......does anyone have any suggestions of anywhere else I might look that i'm just not thinking of??